COUPLES

IMAGO is a shift in psychotherapy from the individual to the relational paradigm.

We do not develop in isolation. Who we become is shaped through relationship — and especially intimate relationships often bring our deepest patterns to the surface. At the heart of many couple conflicts lies a tension between two fundamental needs: security & freedom.

One reaches for closeness, reassurance and stability; the other for space, autonomy and self-determination. The more one pursues, the more the other withdraws — and the cycle intensifies.

What feels like a struggle for power is often a struggle between two survival needs.

The relationship becomes organised around the question: Can I stay connected to you without losing myself — and can I be myself without losing you?

Early experiences influence whom we are drawn to and how we respond to intimacy, conflict and distance. We unconsciously recognise familiar patterns in our partners, project parts of ourselves onto them, and often recreate unresolved dynamics in the hope that this time the outcome will be different. This is where Imago becomes interesting.

IMAGO is a structured dialogical process that works on the reciprocal field in relationships: understanding how people connect, how we rupture connection and learning how to reconnect.

FROM CONFLICT TO CURIOSITY – an Opportunity for Growth

A healthy relationship is not characterised by being conflict-free, but by having tools that enable discussion in a safe, non-reactive, compassionate and mutually supportive way.

In Imago, conflict is not simply something to manage. It can become a point of inquiry. Often, what one partner longs for is precisely what the other finds difficult to give.

RAGE HARD? DO DRAMA? GO SILENT?

Rather than fighting harder or withdrawing, couples learn to slow the interaction down and listen differently — through a structured dialogue involving: mirroring, perspective-taking, validation and empathy.

This creates space to recognise projections, distinguish past from present, and understand the needs and fears beneath the familiar pattern.

The aim is not harmony at any cost. It is greater capacity for relationship: to remain connected without losing oneself, to tolerate difference, to speak honestly, to listen without immediately defending, and to repair when connection is lost.

A mature relationship does not require two people to become one — FROM SYMBIOSIS TO DIFFERENTIATION

It allows two distinct people to meet as equals — with their own desires, boundaries, histories and perspectives — and to create something together without abandoning themselves.

This is where a relationship can become a place of development rather than repetition — a space for safety, difference, healing and growth.

WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP MAY END — The possibility of letting go

Couples therapy is not necessarily about saving the relationship.

Sometimes the most conscious outcome is to stay. Sometimes it is to separate. If separation becomes the path, my work can help both partners to make their decision with greater clarity, communicate with integrity, establish boundaries and, where children are involved, develop a mature co-parenting relationship.

The process is where the work happens.
Content is optional.

Book an individual session to explore a specific question, situation or decision, or choose a set of sessions for deeper, more sustainable change. You can also work with me in an exclusive weekend or monthly retreat — stepping out of your usual environment, gaining perspective and creating dedicated time for yourself.

I welcome couples at every stage and in many forms of relationship: newly together, long-distance, open relationships, young parents, and couples who have been together for many years.

You do not have to wait for a relationship to be in crisis to begin.